I'm Not Really Here

SHORTLISTED: 2025 CBCA Book of the Year, Older Readers
SHORTLISTED: 2025 Victorian Premier's Literary Awards, Writing for Young Adults


'A moving coming-of-age story with so much heart. For readers who enjoyed Heartstopper.' BOOKS & PUBLISHING

Footsteps approach behind me. I turn and see an Aboriginal boy arriving at the doorway. He's tall, taller than me. He's got curly hair. His body is fit. His chest is chiselled and bare and he's wearing only football shorts.

When 17-year-old Jonah arrives in a new town - Patience - with his dad and younger brothers, it feels like a foreign place. A new town means he needs to make new friends - which isn't always easy. Especially when he's wrestling with his body image, and his memories of his mother.

When he joins the local footy team so he can spend more time with his new crush, Harley, he feels like he's moving closer to something good. But even though he knows what he wants, it doesn't mean he's ready.

Emotionally compelling, honest and warm, I'm Not Really Here is a beautiful novel about navigating family and friendships, and finding a way through grief towards love, from an internationally acclaimed bestselling Indigenous author.

Praise for Gary Lonesborough

'What a revelation this young writer is. He is doing something no other male First Nations novelist has attempted: the YA Blak queer genre that is a glimpse into another world view, at once confronting yet heartwarming.' - AUSTRALIAN BOOK REVIEW [We Didn't Think it Through]

'A lightning bolt to the soul. The Boy from the Mish announces a bold, necessary new talent.' WILL KOSTAKIS